I'm Sorry Miss Adkins, I Am Forreal

Tattooed Indie Hipster Guy (TIHG): "Just need to see some ID's"
Me: "Here ya go"
TIHG: "Recite your address and hold out your right arm"
Me: "Ummm well I've moved since then I... it should be 425 Avenue of Champions but like I said I d..."
TIGH: "...Your right arm please"
Me: "Oh yeah, yeah here"

STAMPED

TIHG: (To Abby) "ID"
Abby: *Hands it over
TIHG: "This doesn't look like you"

a minute passes

TIHG: "Sign your name five times on this piece of paper"
Abby: *signs it, scratching out a few beginning letters here and there

he takes the paper to the back with him... and comes back out

TIHG: "This isn't you is it"
Abby: *says something along the lines of how it isn't
TIHG: "Ok well I legally have to take this from you..."

then turns to me and says, without actually looking at me, "Your girl can't come in"

And there we have it, the shot to the foot of any of the plans that may have developed as a team in P-town. We were turned away everywhere, even just to eat, because apparently being a citizen or a human being in Portland is only affirmed by a sideways state license. After a long trial and error period, Abby decided to head back for the hotel and Weis and I stayed out for a bit...



We went to a place called Tugboat Brewery, or something ship related, and began talking to an overweight, English-American, woven hat wearing gent named Linsel. He told us about how in the bar, he plays nature documentaries set to a soundtrack that he creates at home which best lay down the mood of say... alligators eating wilderbeasts. Crazy guy, but we had a blast. We each had a beer from the brewery (Copper Ale for me and something hoppy for Weis) and another local beer brewed from around the area.

Then, off to find food, which happened at a little Mexican trailer positioned on the street corner by the bars. A few people were tearing into burritos, so we hopped on-board. I gulped down a chorizo and egg burrito and thought it was amazing all the way up until the bathroom experience the next day, but that's a different story for a different blog.

We promised Abby we'd bring back donuts from the crazy donut shop we'd seen earlier in the day, so we scooped a Voodoo Dozen at Voodoo Donuts. This dozen is where you don't get to pick, they just throw random things into a pink box until they reach 12... I'll recite the ones I remember eating

Glazed with captain crunch on top
Glazed with fruit loops on top
Grape ape (grape kool-aid sprinkles)
Bubble gum, where a double bubble rests in the center
Butterscotch
M&M cakebread




They were insane, and we've been eating them for two days. I have added twenty pounds of pure donut weight to my torso.

We stopped in another bar right outside of our hotel, met some locals (easily since I was holding a pink box of 12 donuts at the bar), and had a Tecate with lime before coming back to see our third amigo and compadre. She looked healthier having not been around Weis and I for a bit, I think we wear people down.

We're posted up in the Silver Cloud Inn in Seattle, right across from Safeco Field and Pyramid brewery.... but it's time for checkout...

Until later ya'll